to those who have made the effort to read the blog i thank you

to those who have made the effort to read the blog i thank you. i can see that through your likes and comments. to those who haven't i guess it goes to proving the point i made in my most recent blog entry. even my wonderful doctor has read it and sent me a letter telling me what she thought which was huge for me. to finally get some validation from the medical community is a big deal for me. she noted my case was unique and maybe people can't get their head around it because i unfortunately can speak from both both sides of the fence on terminal disease.

my body has had to deal with so much and i have spent so many years downplaying it that people don't understand the cancer references. when you spend as much time as i have in chemotherapy units you understand what is happening because you are often going through the same side effects, using the same machines in a lot of cases, and in my case dealing with a lot more in terms of invasive procedures and operations. almost everything involves getting cut open or dealing with toxic drugs that do horrific things to many regions of the body. you put up with it because the alternative is to die quicker than you are already going to.

i see myself having three choices:

1. ditch social media totally. this is a bad idea given i have spent the last 2 decades as an on-air presenter and producer and with my final projects still to come this would be dumb from an economic point of view.

2. i could do what i currently do. talk about it once or twice a year and generally achieve bugger all in a cause that i believe has been ignored by successive governments.

or 3. break relatively self imposed silence down through the years and start to chronicle everything as my health progressively starts to fail so people can see the reality of terminal illness outside of cancers.

whilst it goes against my natural instincts i am starting to err on the side of choice number 3. the question is how to do it in a way that doesn't bore people shitless as it is too important. some people have tried to convince me to be silent and be dignified in dying. i do not subscribe to that at all especially as i have been clinically dead 3 times including once for 20 minutes. death is not a dignified thing. it is painful, messy and the only way it can be dignified is for the people left behind to make them feel better.

those who know me and even those reading this that do not, will see that when i write or speak publicly i do so honestly and pragmatically. sugar coating reality helps no-one. i do not believe in god and i believe we create our own legacies. i want mine to be a medical profession that deals with this in a better way and that starts with listening to the patient.

i have known death in my own body as well as losing the most important people in my life. the saying about when times are tough you find out who your real friends are is true. this is not necessarily a negative thing. after all who needs people around who genuinely don't wish to be there.

i will continue the blog as it a good tool to preview the book i am writing however i think it will also be a good vehicle to chronicle and educate everyone on an area of medicine that people genuinely don't understand.

i have so much more to say and for the first time in ages i feel it flowing as soon as i get near a keyboard. this is a good thing as i also have a backlog of sports stories and top 10's that i want to get to asap. i will decide where i put those things shortly as i do wish to have too many things out there as it gets messy. a good friend of mine the former manager at 4BC and ABC Gold Coast, Anthony Frangi once said to me keep writing, just keep writing.

he was correct :)

http://darrenmadigan.blogspot.com.au/